Finishing Touches Day

So today the master bath should be finished. Mom and I are putting on the final coat of paint, and so long as I can paint the trim and I don't wear out the bathroom (minus the shower curtain) will be finished. I suppose I should go pick up a tension road from Canadian Tire for the shower curtain so we can use the upstairs shpwer tomorrow morning.

New Stuff

Time for a new post I'm tired of looking at the last one!

It was another release weekend this week, it went very well and pretty quick (3 hours). My project was pulled from the release on Wendesday as we were not comfortable with the robustness of the new infrastructure and technologies we were implementing. So we're now intending to deploy in January so I'm updating the documentation to indicate the current state and since we have 3 more months adding detail to functionality that was descoped due to lack of detail and time.

I think this week the contractor is going to come to redo our master bathroom which has been in a state of disrepair for 2 years, I guess I should take some before and after photos for all of you. One thing though, I primed it in order to repaint and never repainted, so the cover plates are off all the lights and plugs, etc. Just a warning for the before photos :)

Are you excited? I'm excited just writing about my first major home reno (the biggest one I've done to date is replacing the handles on the kitchen cupboards, and I still haven't finished that).

The return - TMI

OK, not so finished Friday, if you don't like bloodily fluids stop reading now.

It all started up again on Saturday, went to the hospital as I passed out from blood loss. They brought my blood pressure back up and I stopped passing blood and clots on my own, but since it was 11pm the OB/GYN wanted to see me in the hospital the next day for a potential D&C. Well Sunday I didn't have any issues, so they sent me home. Monday of course I started bleeding heavily again, so I was back in emerg, which was packed and it took 8 hours to see a doctor. Strangely when I finally got to see another OB/GYN when she checked me out I had stopped bleeding again, so she was going to send me home, but before she did she wanted to check the size of my uterus, which was tiny she said and I bleed all over her and the table, so she decided I was bleeding and she did the first exam again and decided on an immediate D&C and more blood tests to see where my hemoglobin count was (it dropped from 107 to 79 in the 6 hours between test, so no wonder I was dizzy and weak, the normally value for a woman is 115).

Anyway, the D&C is pretty quick, they wheeled me out of ER at 12:30 and I woke up in the post op at 1:20 and pretty lucid, although I got sleepy again when they were wheeling me to my room, I stayed overnight due to my weakened state.

I'm home now recovering, still weak and headachy. Today hubby and my inlaws stayed, tomorrow, my hubby is going into work late and coming home early and my inlaws will stay with me in the intervening time. I hope my mom doesn't read this before I get to talk to her, I didn't want to let her know what was going on on Saturday until they made a decision, Sunday morning she left for a short vacation, forgive me mom the docs didn't know what to do with me until Monday night, well technically Tuesday morning.

It is finished

Well at least I hope it is. Since Saturday I've been spotting very lightly, yesterday it finally got a little heavier with cramping, but then went away. Today though, the cramps were strong and the bleeding heavy. Strangely, I only feel relief that it's finally resolved, not grief or remorse, I expect that will come in time. For now, I shall relax and be thankful that it was quick and not as emotionally draining as I expected it might be. Tomorrow is another day, and when the emotions flow I'll deal with it then and not wonder why I'm not a basket case now, hopefully, I'll remember that I was thankful to God that I'm not a basket case,

What's new pussycats? Whoa oh oh oh oh

I guess ya'll would like an update? Hmmm? Maybe? Maybe not?

So in my last update I had shots to terminate a potentially ectopic pregnancy (they think that 1 out of 4 ultrasounds showed a mass on my left ovary).

Anyway, my horomone levels at the time were 9K (on Wednesday the 29th). Tested again on Saturday (19K), Tuesday (20K), Friday (19K). Monday I went to see the doctor in the hospital and he wanted more tests to see where we were at so he could determine a course of action, since my hormone levels were steady, not dropping or rising (I'm 8 weeks now I suppose). So we did, he was on call, so I guess he had to go deliver a baby, so he writes the results and next steps in my file and gives it to the nurse to tell me. The results? "Ultrasound looks normal, come back to hospital Friday for more blood work".

So what does that mean any? I'd take it as positive, but well they did give me a nice chemical cocktail to end the pregnancy, so maybe "ultrasound looks normal" means nothing on the ovary and development of the embryo stopped somewhere around 6.5 to 7 weeks (i.e. soon after the shots), so expect HCG levels to drop and miscarriage to start? No ask to make a doctor's appointment after the blood work Friday, tough, he's getting a visit anyway. Either Friday or Monday or the next time one of them is in the office.

Tests, Tests and more tests

So had more tests on Wednesday, not good. The doctor found a mass on my left ovary and although he's not sure, we're treating our pregnancy as ectopic just to be safe. So last night I had shots that cause the termination of the pregnancy and I have to have follow-up blood work and doctor appointments for the next 3 weeks to make sure my hormone levels drop (because this method only works in 75-90 percent of cases).

I'm feeling better today, I didn't sleep very well, so hubby took me out for brunch which has me in a better mood now.

I'm taking the rest of the week off work and I think I'll go read a book now.

Results

So my hormone levels are up again, a good increase of 3700+ to 5500+ the radiologist can't see an ectopic embryo in the ultrasound either. Until I can see the OB/Gyn next week I'm going to go with positive thinking that we're a go, although high risk and I'll likely be closely monitored.

I'm in shock, so I don't have anything more to say and I think I'll go relax now.

Where have I been?

I haven't felt much like blogging lately, too busy and tired, then dejected, now disappointed.

For the first couple of weeks of August I was too tired.
Since mid August I've been feeling dejected.
Aug 19 things changed. I started spotting mid cycle, not unusual, but it was bright red. Since DH and I are trying to conceive I decided to take a pregnancy test, ya, it was positive. So all week I've been going to the hospital for a variety of tests so the doctor can determine just what is going on so he can determine his course of action. He believes I'll miscarry (I don't disagree, and I'm OK with that), right now he wants to make sure it's not an ectopic pregnancy. So anyway, it's been a quiet and hectic week, so I'm taking Friday off to do tests and then the afternoon as a brain break, I always feel more emotional after the test results.

Maybe I'll blog more about the results tomorrow.

SMART Habits Saturday - Aug 4

So it's Saturday and time to develop another habit, please go to Lara's blog to join in.

Last week went terribly for my new habits, not a one of them was followed. So this week should probably be a follow my habits week.

Previous SMARTs

15 Minute Walkabout Nope none at all

15 Minutes with God also not good this week, does Friday's post count?

2 days/week extra curricular activities Nope none at all

Control Freak I forgot entirely

15 Minute Fridays - August 3

Yesterday I had networking problems, so I could get my post up.

John 3: 1-36

This week in chapter 3 of John 2 things are covered, Nicodemus visiting Jesus and learning that to be part of the world to come he must be born of water and spirit. The second being John the baptist teaching his own disciples about who Jesus is, and that all should follow him.

I wonder what Nicodemus wanted to know when he came to Jesus. He came to Jesus acknowledging Jesus being a great teacher and obviously loved and acknowledged by God because of the miracles he can perform. I think Nicodemus came to Jesus with questions to ask about the Law. Nicodemus was a member of the ruling council. The council decided Jewish matters in Jerusalem and were a moral authority. I guess they are a lot like the Pope and his cardinals in deciding what the correct interpretation of scripture for all Catholics. I could see why Nicodemus would have questions, that's quite a burden, and it's been along time since there's been a teacher touched by God to correct the paths of His people.

What kind of questions would you ask Jesus if you had the shared responsibility of deciding the interpretation of doctrine for all of your country men? I think I would ask Jesus if I was leading His people away from him. I'd ask what needs to be corrected, certainly after 400 years there are corrections to be made. I'd wonder if I've followed God's law correctly. I'd also hope whatever the answer it wasn't too hard to do.

Before Nicodemus can ask a single question, Jesus says to him "I tell you the truth, no one can see the Kingdom of God unless he is born again." I could just imagine myself thinking, but I thought we had to honour God by following rules, what rules have we led God's people to break, have we all broken God's covenant and that's why the Roman's rule us. Have we misplaced some of Moses' writings, there is no mention of being born again in the Law. So Nicodemus asks how to be reborm and Jesus tells him with water and spirit. It took me a while to make some sense of this in my understanding of the Jewish Law and the observances at that time, apparently Nicodemus didn't get it either.

What does being reborn of water and Spirit mean to you?

In terms of the Law (and I'm no expert in it, or accepted opinion of what these teachings mean not having any formal teaching) I see that for water, the Jews had a lot of rules about ceremonial washing, so I could see water as being a renewal of cleanliness and righteousness before God. The Jews also had a lot of rules around ceremonial defilement and the sacrifices required. So water makes my body clean from defilement, and sacrifice makes my soul clean from defilement. I remember reading all the sacrificial items and when individual sacrifices had to be performed, I knew I would never be considered cermonially clean, or at least not for very long following those rules, and that was based just on the nature of my mensus alone during that first reading. If that's even close to what Jesus meant, I guess I could see how Jesus would say to Nicodemus, surely as a teacher of the Law and interpretter of when and how to wash and sacrifice for removing defilement, and knowing that being defiled you cannot come before God, certainly a teacher of that should understand that to come into the permanent presence of God you need to be renewed by water and Spirit.

Where I'm at right now is trying to understand verse 8 which follows more examples about what reborn means Jesus says "The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit." What does this passage mean to you? How do you know if you've been reborn of the Spirit? How does a person, being reborn of the Spirit identify with what Jesus says about the wind?

SMART Habits Saturday

Lara's computer is on the fritz, but I think I'll participate anyway. This week has been a tough one at work, and I'm actually feeling dejected, not much in my control though, but I don't like having to give unwelcome news, or basically tell someone to shape-up. So on to this week, I think I should concentrate on what I can control and let go of the rest. As the prayer goes "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference".

Previous SMARTs
15 Minute Walkabout really bad this week (1/7)
15 Minutes with God also not good this week
2 days/week extra curricular activities 1 of 2, went to work out at the gym on the treadmill, fun but hard to get up the energy to do it. I guess I did 2, if reading counts, I did it as a second...

15 Minute Friday - July 27

So this week I had 2 ideas, the first is related to the book of John. In chapter 2, the wedding at Cana, Jesus turns water into wine. The one thing in this description of Jesus' first recorded miracle in John is how Jesus responds to his mother, here's the passage:

John 2:3-5 When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine". "Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied. "My time has not yet come." His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."

I've tried to imagine Jesus saying this to his mom, and it just seems rude to me. Maybe it's the "dear woman" translation, it seems very formal and distant to me. I decided to look up the words as I am likely adding my own tone based on my own time and culture. Dear refers to something of value, precious and near to your heart, at least this is the interpretation I wish to allocate. So that would then mean dear woman is an endearment of a son for his mother. I wonder at why Jesus' mother involves him and why he thinks his time has not yet come. Maybe his mom sees something he doesn't. There's not mention of Jesus having disciples previously in his life, and in 3 days time he now has 5. Maybe people had wanted to learn from him before, but he discouraged them from following and now he was accepting them. I think this needs more pondering.

The second thing I was thinking about is the Lord's Prayer, have you ever really thought about it? It really blows my mind. For instance, it begins 'Our Father'. I tried to fathom that, so I tried to calculate the volume of space that 6 billion pennies would occupy, so I guesses at the width and diameter of a pennie and figured out how many would fit in house I grew up in. (The house is 1800+ sqft and I just used a volume of 100ft x 50ft x20ft. Anyway, if my calculations were correct, 6 billion pennies would fill that volume 33 times, that just astounded me. And to think of knowing and being able to identify each penny uniquely, and we're a lot more complex than a penny.

The second line "Who art in heaven" I tried to conceptualize heaven. I used to think of heaven as somewhere further out in the universe, and I still default to this. But heaven isn't within our universe, it's outside it, because the universe is God's creation not His living space, just as I don't exist within something that I might create. I don't think I spend enough time thinking about heaven, I wonder how my attitudes and values might change if I did spend more time thinking about heaven.

I'm still working on the third line "Hallowed be thy name". What it means for God's name to be holy, what does holy mean? I turned to my dictionary again for this and looked up hallowed, which has 2 definitions: to make hold or set appart for holy use; and to respect greatly. Holy means: exalted or worthy of complete devotion as one perfect in goodness and righteousness; devoted entirely to the deity or the work of the deity; having a divine quality. Holiness is a difficult concept for me, the dedication, reverence, respect I see in the old and new testament of the Lord's prophets is foreign to me.

So what have you done this week with God? How do interpret the exchange between Jesus and his mother before his first miracle? What does the Lord's prayer mean to you? Should you think about heaven more?

SMART Habits Saturday - week 3

So last week's habit of spending 15 minutes with prayer and/or bible study every day worked out well, and I've decided to have a regular feature on my own blog of 15 minute Friday's. This past week I've come to realize that if I organized myself into having commited things to do evenings and weekends, I might just work less overtime and feel less stressed and have a healthier work/life balance. Therefore, this week, I will find 2 things I want to commit to for myself during the week.

Visit The Lazy Organizer for more SMART Habits

15 minute walk about not so good 2 days only

15 minutes with God great 6 days

15 Minute Friday

This past week as part of my SMART Habits Saturday I've been working on spending 15 minutes with God every day. That being said and by Jenny V's request I'm going to start 15 minute Fridays.

Every Friday I will post on my week's journey with God and faith. So a travellin I shall go.

For the last few weeks I've been studying the gospel of John. Now a little background on this gospel, it's different from the other 3 in that it's very much about who Jesus is, John the Baptist's testimony of Jesus as Messiah and Godly love and redemption. It's quite often given to people seeking more information about Jesus and Christianity. Now to be quite frank with you, had it been given to me, I might not be a Christian, because I just don't get it, I find it really frustrating so far. I have read this gospel all the way through for an overview, and I'm currently concentrating on Chapter 1. Here's an example of something that frustrates me. One of the questions in my study guide, What did eah of the first 5 disciples find out about Jesus and how did they find out. Now, let's take Philip, Jesus finds Philip in his [Philip's] home town and says to him "Follow me". [John 1:43]. Philip, presumably spends some time with Jesus, although the next couple versus explain where it happened, not what occurred to make Philip a believer and then has Philip running off to find Nathaniel to tell Nate that they have found the one Moses wrote about in the law, and about whom the prophets also wrote [John 1:45]. Nathaniel didn't believe a Messiah could come from Nazareth, but comes to meet Jesus anyway. Jesus says Nate is a true son of Israel and when Nate questions the comment, Jesus says he 'saw' Nate praying under a fig tree before Philip found him. To this Nate replies "Rabbi, you are the Son of God, you are the King of Israel [John 1: 46-49].

Now I try to put myself in their place. If someone asked me to follow them, I'm not sure I would without an explanation, or at least some knowledge gained from my own acquitances of who the person is. So let's say I followed, chances are I'm not going to running off to my friends to tell them the Messiah has been found. And if someone told me they had seen where I was and what I was doing before I came before them, Son of God is certainly not the first thing that comes to mind. I should likely have gotten along much better with the Pharisees.

Now seeing the experience of the first 5 disciples and how they came to believe in Jesus as Messiah, this gospel doesn't explain how seeds were planted or the thought processes of the disciples or what transpired in the intervening hours. I have to wonder, if I were to write out the beginning of my own story, what would it be, what made me cross that line from seeking to believing. If I told you my defining moment of belief, it would probably seem to you, like the first 5 disciples seems to me. So here it is:

Standing in my friend Jon's living room, he playing piano and a few of us singing a new worship song we had learned recently, Shi.ne Je.sus Shi.ne (by Graham Kendrik). Over the piano is a framed poem called Footprints. By the time I reached the end of the poem, I was well aware of how much God loved me and wanted me and that this is what I had spent all these years looking for. So what might have John written about my conversion? Jesus found Kim singing praises and said "Trust me" and is that really so different from the "follow me" that John overheard Jesus say to Philip?

Take the next 15 minutes and think about your experiences with a higher power, whatever form that may take. Although it's always a journey, is there a defining moment? Would you share?







Take what you like and leave the rest.
Kim

SMART Habits Saturday - week 2

SMART Habits Saturday is hosted by Lara @ The Lazy Organizer.

This is my second week and I think I'd like to alternate habits I want to make versus ones I should make. So this week's habit will be to spend 15 minutes with God every morning.

Here's the list:

15 Minute Walkabout 2 days last week, not so good

SMART Habits Saturday - July 7

SMART Habits Saturday is hosted by The Lazy Organizer being inspired by Lara's blog I've decided to participate this week in a smarter habit, but oh which one shall I do, I don't want to overdo things, just one habit a week is all I need as soon there will be lots and lots of good habits.

Cleaning: Do a walk-about every day. I can't find Laura's posts on walk-abouts although I know she's posted at least twice, plus her own daily 15 minute tidy up. Actually I guess I want to do a 15 minute tidy up, since I haven't taught the dog to put away his toys yet :)

Menu Planning Monday

Monday: Tilapia Fish with ginger and green onions, brushed with soya sauce and sherry. Veggie black bean stir fry on the side

Tuesday: Vegetable Enchildas

Wednesday: Pork and green beans stir fried in Olive and garlic sauce, tomatoes and tofu in oyster sauce

Thursday: Lemon Chicken side unknown

Friday: Salmon marinated in lemonpeppercorn sauce, side unknown.

Vegetable Enchiladas

Nutritional Information (based on actual recipe, not the jambalaya leftovers):
Calories: 309
Protein: 12g
Carbohydrate: 23g
Sugars: 14g
Fat: 19g
Saturates: 8g

Ingredients:
I use leftovers from the Vegetable Jambalaya, but these are the actual ingredients.
4 large four tortillas (I used 9 small whole wheat tortillas)
3/4 cup grated hard cheese (I used extra sharp cheddar)

Filling:
2 1/4 oz spinach
2 tbsp olive oil
8 baby corn on the cobs, sliced
1 tbsp frozen peas, thawed
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 carrot, diced
1 leek diced
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 red chili, chopped
salt and pepper

Sauce: (I used the leftover canned chopped tomatoes, tomato paste, some vegetable stock and garlic salt for the sauce)
1 1/4 seived tomatoes
2 shallots, chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed
1 1/4 cups vegetable stock
1 tsp super fine sugar
1 tsp cayenne pepper

Directions:

1. To make filling, blanche the spinach in a pan of boiling water for 2 minutes. Drain well, pressing out as much excess moisture as possible and chop (oK, I use chopped frozen spinach and thaw it)
2. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add the baby corn, peas, bell pepper, carrot, leek, garlic and chili, saute, stirring briskly, for 3-4 minutes. Stir in the spinach and season well with salt and pepper.
3. Put all the sauce ingredients in a heavy bottomed saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring constantly for 20 minutes until thickened and reduced by a third (I mixed my version in a bowl and stirred well, no cooking).
4. Spoon the filling into the tortillas, spinkle a little cheese inside, roll, place in baking dish.
5. Once all enchiladas are rolled, spoon sauce on top making sure to cover everything then sprinkle with cheese (I spinkled with cheese and more garlic salt).
6. Bake for 20 minutes at 350F.

Vegetable Jambalaya

Nutritional Information:
Calories: 181
Protein 6g
Carbohydrates: 25g
Sugars: 8g
Fat: 7g
Saturates: 1g

Ingredients:
1/2 cup brown rice
2 tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 red onion, cut into 8
1 eggplant, diced (I used 2 more bell peppers, zucchini is good too)
1 green bell pepper, diced
1 3/4 oz baby corn on the cob, halved lengthwise
1/2 cup frozen peas
3 1/2 oz small broccoli florets
2/3 cup vegetable stock
8 oz can chopped tomatoes
1 tbsp tomato paste
1 tsp creole seasoning
1/2 tsp chili flakes
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Cook the rice according to directions on bag/box
2. Heat oil in heavy bottom skillet and cook garlic and onion stirring constantly for 2-3 minutes
3. Add eggplant, bell pepper, corn, peas, and broccoli to the pan and cook, stirring occassionally for 2-3 minutes
4. Stir in the vegetable stock and canned tomatoes, tomato paste, creole seasoning and chili flakes
5. Season to taste, cook over low heat for 15-20 minutes, or until vegetables are tender
6. Stir in cooked rice, mixing well, for 3-4 minutes. Serve immediately.

If too spice add butter or cheese to the jambalaya. I use the leftovers for Vegetable Enchildas.

Menu Planning Monday

Here's my nutritional menu for the week, low cal and low fat. For more participants see Org Junkie's list.

Sunday: Vegetable Jambalaya

Monday: Vegetable Enchiladas (using leftovers from Sunday)

Tuesday: Late Father's Day dinner out

Wednesday: Beef Stroganoff (from Dr. B recipes)

Thursday: Lemon Chicken

Friday: Tilapia fish in black bean sauce

Saturday: Tofu and veggies, pork and green beans - chinese style

Sunday: Kraft Foods Bruschetta Chicken Bake

Recipes to follow, I forgot the cookbooks, where I have it available I'll include nutritional information