Thursday, December 31, 2009

Where to begin

Here we go again.
Another pregnancy
Another failure
Another wait to miscarry the products of conception

This is number 3. I thought the doctor was supposed to take action to investigate possible causes, at least genetic testing of the embryo. When I talk to the nurse though about what the doctor wants, I just get that I should stop the meds and come back for another blood test next week.

I booked an appointment with the doctor to discuss genetic testing, now I just have to hope I don't lose the fetal tissue before I can meet with her, and then schedule the tests. With my luck though I'll pass the tissue this weekend.

I've decided to stop the fertility drugs. I took a break 6 months ago, and during that time I felt that the drugs are not the right way for me to conceive, I returned to the fertility clinic, since I had paid for a year of support, I then became pregnant in the next cycle, and lost the baby. The next cycle I could conceive in I became pregnant again, and now I'm losing this one too.

I wish I felt more angry, I'd really like to feel angry, I'd really like to express anger, but any time I want to be angry I just cry instead.

This sucks.


Jthemilker said...

Oh Kim my heart aches for you. May the Lord bring peace upon your heart.

Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

Oh honey I'm so sorry :(
I had no idea.


I hope you get some answers though I know nothing will ever stop the hurting.

Jenn said...

I'm so sorry to hear that Kim, It makes me cry too because I know how much this is hurting you.
It does suck. It sucks SO much.
Is there anything I can do for you? I'm only a hop skip and a jump away, and ready to listen or just cry with you!!



mom of 2 said...

I'm sorry for your losses and the pain it brings. I hope that genetic counseling will offer some answers for you. My prayers are with you!

hope548 said...

I thought I had checked in more recently, and I feel horrible that I am just now seeing this post. I don't even have the words to express how very sorry I am that you have to go through this a third time. I would definitely want to investigate the cause of all of this.

It brings to mind a friend of mine with a balanced genetic translocation who had multiple early miscarriages and later went on to have a successful pregnancy, birth, and a healthy baby. Not that that is what may be causing yours, but there's got to be something they can do to find out more so you don't have to keep going through this.

I'm so sorry for your pain. You know you can always email me any time you want to vent or cry or anything.

Wishing you peace and comfort.