40 Weeks + 9 Days

Not much time left but still waiting for baby to arrive. Yesterday after seeing the doctor I started having some feelings, not happy ones, but not sad either. I've spent some time exploring just what exactly I am feeling, because I was having a really hard time putting words to describe it.

I believe what I feel is related to the unknown of bringing home baby. We still don't have a name, the baby's room is not quite ready (haven't hung the shelves). I'm not sure I'm ready to take take of an infant which is weird because I used to babysit one with no problems. Can it really be so simple as change, feed, burp, sleep those first few weeks? What if I have trouble breastfeeding? What if like my SIL I come home from the hospital so confused and out of sorts that I can't even figure out how to make a bottle. For example, I have a microwave sanitizer for the bottles, but oddly there are no instructions in the sanitizer on how to use it. Do I put the nipples in the sanitizer, or do I sanitize them a different way? I feel like I have so many questions and no answers, and what answers I do have I'll forget when I need them.

I confess that some of this has to do with my profession as an analyst. Part of my job is to look at defined requirements and determine solutions, but sometimes the requirements are ambiguous and its my job to refine them so there is a clear yes/no path and dealing with the alternates that can occur. I've actually noticed in the last 6 to 12 months that this analysis I do has made filling out forms somewhat interesting because when answering questions the question can be somewhat ambiguous and I could put many answers. For example, the hospital pre-registration form, asked if I have any children, then asked if I had made care giving arrangements for my children and if not why not. The way it was structured is that the care giving question was mandatory and not optional based on the number of children being greater than zero and they asked it twice, so was there supposed to be a different context the second time I had to answer the question?

Then there's my need to plan, and I feel very unplanned for being able to take care of a baby. For going to the hospital I knew I would be there at least 36 hours and hubby would be with me, so care for the dog had to be arranged. He needs to be feed twice a day and let out preferrably 3 times a day. I felt the need to have plans for the following scenarios:

1. Go into labour during the day - not an emergency
2. Go into labour during the day - emergency (need to rush to the hospital, so can't take Drake to parents or boarding)
3. Go into labour at night - not an emergency
4. Go into labour at night - emergency

See, we're not sure how Drake will initially react to our parents coming over to feed him without us being home. We also couldn't take him to be boarded if it was at night or on the weekend, and since labour could occur at any time also didn't want to take him to be boarded the day before the due date and have the baby be 10 days late as that's quite expensive.

Anyway, moving on to the cleaning topic. Today's cleaning challenge is that we can do anything for 15 minutes, so I have to set a timer for 15 minutes and go through the house to throw out all the garbage I can find and take it out to the curb/garage. Then I set the timer for another 15 minutes and I sit back and read a magazine. I'm not much of a magazine reader, perhaps I'll watch TV, listen to music or read a chapter of one of my books.